So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
