that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
