So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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