So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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