i just wanna soil my oats bro
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
