They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
