I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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