I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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