Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
