Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
