Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
