if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
