I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
