Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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