I wish my penis had an off switch
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
