i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
