Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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