Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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