Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
