And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I would ride that face into the sunset
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
