is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
