Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
God, I missed his penis.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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