i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
