i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
