I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
