In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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