So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
