mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
