guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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