It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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