You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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