I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
