If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
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Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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