That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
