Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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