I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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