Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
