I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
