I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
