rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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