There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
