The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
