its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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