There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
