we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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