how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
