My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
