Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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