They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
