I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
