belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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